THE SET-UP
At the time of this review (Padre Coffee Sth Melb Market) I was doing Tim Ferris’ Four-Hour body diet, and every Saturday morning, before you eat your first ‘junk’ meal you are supposed to drink a shot of coffee with grapefruit juice. So on the way to Padre, I bought a 2L bottle of grapefruit juice. However, I didn’t want to walk around all morning carrying this massive bottle, so I decided that I should transfer it to a smaller 600ml bottle of water that I had in my car at the time.
A CHAIN OF EVENTS
I decided to open my car door, and pour out the old water that was in the bottle (it was basically full, but those of you who know me know that I never finish a drink, or a sentence…) all over the road, so I could make room for the grapefruit juice. I then put the 2L grapefruit juice bottle in between my legs to hold it steady while I opened it. Not realising my strength/stupidity, I was holding it quite firmly, and when I popped off that little bastard of a safety seal that was under the lid, grapefruit juice squirted out all over my khaki pants. I looked down and realised that it looked liked I pissed my pants, and not just a little piddle, it looked as though I just sat in my car and emptied myself. In a panic, I put the heaters on full and decided to get out of the car and put my crotch directly in front of the heater vent on my car door. As luck would have it, as I was doing this, a massive group of people (maybe a shopping tour) just stopped and looked directly at me, in order to not look conspicuous (!) I decided to turn around and face them. My pants hadn’t dried at all and when I turned around they just looked at me in complete disgust. With the whole front of my pants soaked, combined with the water I tipped out of the bottle all over the road, it looked as though I just stepped out of my car, turned around and relieved myself, without even having the decency to take off my pants.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY
Café’s should stock Grapefruit juice.
At the time of this review (Padre Coffee Sth Melb Market) I was doing Tim Ferris’ Four-Hour body diet, and every Saturday morning, before you eat your first ‘junk’ meal you are supposed to drink a shot of coffee with grapefruit juice. So on the way to Padre, I bought a 2L bottle of grapefruit juice. However, I didn’t want to walk around all morning carrying this massive bottle, so I decided that I should transfer it to a smaller 600ml bottle of water that I had in my car at the time.
A CHAIN OF EVENTS
I decided to open my car door, and pour out the old water that was in the bottle (it was basically full, but those of you who know me know that I never finish a drink, or a sentence…) all over the road, so I could make room for the grapefruit juice. I then put the 2L grapefruit juice bottle in between my legs to hold it steady while I opened it. Not realising my strength/stupidity, I was holding it quite firmly, and when I popped off that little bastard of a safety seal that was under the lid, grapefruit juice squirted out all over my khaki pants. I looked down and realised that it looked liked I pissed my pants, and not just a little piddle, it looked as though I just sat in my car and emptied myself. In a panic, I put the heaters on full and decided to get out of the car and put my crotch directly in front of the heater vent on my car door. As luck would have it, as I was doing this, a massive group of people (maybe a shopping tour) just stopped and looked directly at me, in order to not look conspicuous (!) I decided to turn around and face them. My pants hadn’t dried at all and when I turned around they just looked at me in complete disgust. With the whole front of my pants soaked, combined with the water I tipped out of the bottle all over the road, it looked as though I just stepped out of my car, turned around and relieved myself, without even having the decency to take off my pants.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY
Café’s should stock Grapefruit juice.
SOME FACTS
Recent studies sugest that drinking a glass of grapefruit juice with your coffee doubles the effects of caffeine.
Recent studies sugest that drinking a glass of grapefruit juice with your coffee doubles the effects of caffeine.